1. |
||||
|
When I saw you at the soda shop
My knees bucked and I nearly dropped
Oh, you look so cool
I would be a fool.. not to
Marry that girl
I gotta marry that girl
She's the sweetest in the world
I gotta marry that girl
Oooohhh... Nananana
We bought a Green River and a candy bar
I never knew we’d get this far
Oh, you look so cool
I would be a fool.. not to
Marry that girl
I gotta marry that girl
She's the cutest in the world
I gotta marry that girl
Marry that girl
I gotta marry that girl
I'm gonna take her 'round the world
I gotta marry that girl
|
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2. |
||||
|
(Shoowop shoowop wop twins)
Went to the doctor to have a kid
Didn't want one had two instead
One's a mistake, the other one's an accident
There's you and you
Yeah there's two
How can I tell you two apart?
You both look stupid, don't look that smart
I only have one child seat in my car
Not one, but two
Damn, I'm screwed
I got one for the boob, two for the boob
I hope I'm making enough food
Showing up for dinner unannounced is rude
There's you and you
Yeah there's two
You two are driving me insane
So I'm gonna dress you up the same
Have fun getting beat up in second grade
You two, yeah you
Black and blue
First you're a sperm, next you're an egg
You split that shit and you look the same
And then you rock and roll all night and day
There's you and you
Yeah there's two
(Shoowop shoowop wop twins)
|
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3. |
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|
I saw the writing on the wall
We shared one milkshake with two straws
At the Drive-In, we went far
In the back of my car
Let’s meet tonight
Underneath the lights
At Make-Out Point
How do you think we came to be? We carved our names into a tree
The drop-top.. The sock hop..
The way we fell in love...... In the back of my car
Let’s meet tonight
Underneath the lights
At Make-Out Point
|
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4. |
||||
|
Cruisin' around in my Kia Sorento
Riding on all six cylinders
It's not a girl's car just because it's hers
Window's rolled down, blowing my hair
Gas tank is open but I don't care
And I hear us on the radio
Playing songs to take us home
Being without my Kia Sorento
Is like an olive without a pimento
Cruisin' around in my Kia Sorento
I change the oil once in a while
I never go passed 10,000 miles
I get the soap and I hose her down, all around
And she's ready for the road
I drive it faster than this tempo
From New York City to Sacramento
Cruisin' around in my Kia Sorento
It's more fun than my Nintendo
More important that a family memento
Cruisin' around in my Kia Sorento
|
||||
5. |
||||
|
I’m half a mile up
Feels like I’m stuck above
My heart is tied up
Cut off the ropes for my love
I can always look back down
But I’m flying so high that my feet can’t touch the ground
I miss you so
It’s time to let you know
I’m half a mile up
Feels like I’m stuck above
My heart is tied up
Cut off the ropes for my love
How can I come back down to you
When all I’ve got is a broken parachute?
Please just watch me land
Baby, take my hand
I’m half a mile up
Feels like I’m stuck above
My heart is tied up
Cut off the ropes for my love
|
||||
6. |
||||
|
I forget there's a time in my life
So long ago
When I didn't have you as my wife
I was alone
Nowhere to go, but you appeared
Judy don't you ever start to cry
Judy won't you dry your eyes
Please just promise me you'll never shed a tear
'Cause I will never leave your side, my dear
I remember first seeing your smile
Time stopped
And then I stalked you for a while
Never gave up
Much to my luck you stayed with me
Judy don't you ever start to cry
Judy won't you dry your eyes
Please just promise me you'll never shed a tear
'Cause I will never leave your side, my dear
What if I had waited 'til the end
And we had never been? Oh no
What if you had never told me yes?
We would not be us. Oh no
Judy don't you ever start to cry
Judy won't you dry your eyes
Please just promise me you'll never shed a tear
'Cause I will never leave your side, my dear
|
||||
7. |
||||
|
It gets dark
In the city
The sun sets so quickly
I guess there’s only one thing left do..
I’m gonna rock rock rock until the end of the world
Not gonna stop stop stop tonight
It’s gonna be hot hot hot, all the boys and the girls
It’s wrong.. but it feels so right
Eyes are shot
I feel dizzy
The world turns too quickly
I guess there’s only one thing left do..
I’m gonna rock rock rock until the end of the world
Not gonna stop stop stop tonight
It’s gonna be hot hot hot, all the boys and the girls
It’s wrong.. but it feels so right
{Ohhh yeah... Whooo. .. Alright, baby.. It’s time to rock... Let’s go..}
I’m gonna rock rock rock until the end of the world
Not gonna stop stop stop tonight
It’s gonna be hot hot hot, all the boys and the girls
It’s wrong.. but it feels so right
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
I'm sick and tired of being lonely
So I decide to call her phone
I get the Rolodex and find her number
This can't be right so it must be wrong
She can never leave my side
Things will never be alright
Only she can satisfy
She bites like a cobra
She's sharp as a knife
She stings like a scorpion
And she'll do it all night
Let's do it all night
I told myself I'd let her go but
I didn't know it'd be this hard
When she called me up and said come over
I couldn't say know, couldn't break her heart
She could never be the one
Even though she's so much fun
When she shows her fangs you better run
She bites like a cobra
She's sharp as a knife
She stings like a scorpion
And she'll do it all night
Let's do it all night
I'm in too deep
Her venom's sweet
And she's wrapped around me tight.
So tight.
She bites like a cobra
She's sharp as a knife
She stings like a scorpion
And she'll do it all night
Let's do it all night
|
||||
9. |
||||
|
So you’re last in line
You were number nine
But they took it all away from you
And now it seems we’re minus one
It happened all too soon
Now, you’re just a moon
And I wished they would have canned it
But they took away our planet
What luck?
Orbiting
The only ting you know...
Farthest from the sun
You’re my number one
But I see you’ve got some craters
And I’ll maybe see you later.. BUT maybe not
(I’m an astronaut)
Orbiting
The only ting you know...
|
||||
10. |
||||
|
I just wanna be near you
I don't wanna be left behind
I don't wanna be feeling like I'm lost
I never thought this through
This thing that's 'me and you'
That's going on
There's no rhyme or reason
This is nothing more than time and seasons
And I can't explain the way I fall
I'm everywhere and in the air
Tonight I'm feeling love
I can't stop these feelings
It comes from deep inside
I just want you to know that you're the one
Nothing you can do
Could make me not want to
Keep going on
There's no rhyme or reason
This is nothing more than time and seasons
And I can't explain the way I fall
I'm everywhere and in the air
Tonight I'm feeling love
When you're around
I'm on the ground
Begging that you'll stay
It's no surprise
I'm hypnotized
Please don't go away
There's no rhyme or reason
This is nothing more than time and seasons
And I can't explain the way I fall
I'm everywhere and in the air
Tonight I'm feeling love
|
||||
11. |
||||
|
So, I’m stuck inside my house
But, I don’t know how long
And that’s ok ay because I’m with my lady
We can cuddle on the couch
Until the sun goes down
Then we light some candles and maybe..
We take off our clothes
And put on pajamas
Cause I’m quarantined with my girl
And it’s taking it’s toll
And I’m ready to roll
I’m quarantined with my baby
I hope this doesn’t alst too long..
Cause she’s driving me crazy
At first, you see, her and I, we got along just fine
Watching Netflix, doing thousand-piece puzzles
But, then as days got longer and we’re locked inside
Close quarters sometimes call for a muzzle
(You know what I mean) {Shut up, girl}
Things will be just fine
But, until then...
I’ll be quarantined with my girl
And it’s taking it’s toll
And I’m ready to roll
I’m quarantined with my baby
I hope this doesn’t alst too long..
Cause she’s driving me crazy
|
||||
12. |
||||
|
When I woke up this morning
I thought I heard the strangest sound
Was it creaky flooring
Or cannons on a battleground?
Please tell me that it isn't true
Sounds like a tornado warning
And now I know that girls fart, too
All that I know is a lie
Something crawled up and died
Hearts beat, sugar's sweet, you walk on your fee
These are things I always knew
You lifted your cheek and you cut the cheese
Now I know that girls fart, too
Guess I just wasn't ready
To learn about you flatulence
Some are silent, but deadly
Some are straight rippin' ass
Like a wolf blowing down the piggies house
Or a ketchup bottle at the end
Are those barking spiders
Or did you drop a bomb again?
You sure know how to clear a room
Just open up and let one loose
The sun's hot, blood clots,
Green is go and red is stop
These are things I always knew
You blast off, you dust crops
You break wind, your butt honks
Now I know that girls fart, too
Girl, you really let one fly
Now I got watery eyes
You're polluting the sky
I can't believe you let out that toot
Now I know that girls fart, too
The sky is blue, lasers pew,
Beer is good for you
These are things I always knew
You smelt it, you dealt it,
Through the couch I felt it
Know I know that girls fart, too
(I love you girl, but your butt is nasty
You might need to wipe after that one)
|
||||
13. |
||||
|
I had a show
Y’all had some tickets
You held up your lighters
Like some moonlight crickets
And I
Finished the song
Walked off of the stage
Cause I’ve done this too long
And I’m done with the road
And that’s why I know
That I’ve gone all the way
The buses and the private planes
And now it’s time to go back home
To the place I own
Well, I had to play
To make my pay
I strummed a guitar to make the country folks say
‘Yeah, you were the best!”
I had bras thrown at my off of your chests
And I’m done with the road
And that’s why I know
That I’ve gone all the way
The buses and the private planes
And now it’s time to go back home
To the place I own
I’m gonna take a little time for
I’m gonna drive around in my RV
I wanna have a couple tall whiskeys, ohh
In the place I own
To the place I own
And I’ve gone all the way
The buses and the private planes
And now it’s time to go back home
To the place I own
|
||||
14. |
||||
|
Girl you're everything
Yeah, the whole shabang
You're my lady and my lover
Glad I had my net
You were such a catch
Yeah, you had me hook, line, and sinker
But there's just one thing
That's been hard for me
Something that I gotta say
When I'm not with you
I'm not a man
I wear dresses and high heels and I dance
When I'm not with you
Please understand
I paint my nails, wear a wig, and get a tan
When I'm not with you
I'm not a man
Things are still the same
In almost every single way
Except I might ask to borrow your mascara
I'm still the same old guy
And I'll still make love at night
But when you leave I'll be shaving all my hair off
We can still be us
But you can always trust
When you leave I'll become fabulous
When I'm not with you
I'm not a man
I tuck my junk and tape it up right to my ass
When I'm not with you
Please understand
It's not my fault, I can't hold back this estrogen
When I'm not with you
I'm not a man
Listen up, there's nothing new here, baby
Remember when we binged Sex And The City
I was Samantha and you were Carrie
When I'm not with you
I'm not a man
I drink Moscato and I read Cosmopolitan
When I'm not with you
Please understand
It's not you, It's just the way I am
When I'm not with you
I'm not a man
When I pee I sit down, I don't stand
When I'm not with you
I'm not a man
|
||||
15. |
||||
|
Lookin’ at the pretty faces
As I’m tying up my laces
When she passed again
She’s going round and round
My jaw dropped to the ground
And I roll right in
It was love at first sight when I saw her there..
At the roller skating rink
At the roller skating rink
I gave that girl a wink
At the roller skating rink
Her knee-high socks were tight
As her left foot crossed her right
And she held my hand
Our night was sentimental
But like our skates it was just a rental
Never saw her again
We boogied just for one great night, I swear..
At the roller skating rink
At the roller skating rink
I gave that girl a wink
At the roller skating rink
|
||||
16. |
||||
|
I bought this van that's outta sight
It aint got back seats, though, no no
I put in some Christmas light
And a bed with sheets, yo, oh oh
Ladies cannot help themselves, oh no, at all
When they see I put shag carpet on the walls
You and I, you're place or mine
Cant decide so we
Hop on in to the Shaggin' Wagon
You're so fine, I think it's time
I'll blow your mind if you
Hop on in to the Shaggin' Wagon
I paint horses on the side
Jumping over lightning, oh no
A disco ball just for good vibes
A dome window lets light in, oh oh
When you see me cruisin', rollin' down the road
Those freaky deaky thoughts make you take off your clothes
You and I, you're place or mine
Cant decide so we
Hop on in to the Shaggin' Wagon
You're so fine, I think it's time
I'll blow your mind if you
Hop on in to the Shaggin' Wagon
What happens in The Wagon
Stays in The Wagon
I'm gonna get some Shaggin'
In my Wagon
You and I, you're place or mine
Cant decide so we
Hop on in to the Shaggin' Wagon
You're so fine, I think it's time
I'll blow your mind if you
Hop on in to the Shaggin' Wagon
|
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17. |
||||
|
Bread is first
Then the meat
Cheese is what you need to eat, ooh
It’s coming together
Maybe add tomatoes next
Pickles might make it the best, ooh
Stack it however
I’m making a sandwich
I’m making my lunch
Add some onions if you think
Although they might make your breath stink, ooh
Experimental
Lettuce and the condiments
Mayonnaise, Mustard; You can’t forget, ooh
It’s time to assemble
I’m making a sandwich
I’m making my lunch
I’m making a sandwich
Should I have some soup or not?
I’m making a sandwich
I’m making my lunch
|
||||
18. |
||||
|
I was lighting fireworks
Bottle rockets and sparklers
That I soaked in gasoline
Then a spark got on my sleeve
I'm on fire
Take control
Don't burn up
Stop Drop Roll
I was smoking a cigarette
I passed out with it in my lips
Then it fell into my lap
Burnt a hole right through my slacks
I'm on fire
Take control
Don't burn up
Stop Drop Roll
Lay flat, legs out
Cover eyes, cover mouth
Just roll over 'til the flames are gone
Get down, roll around
Back and forth on the ground
Tame the fire and just stay calm
STOP DROP ROLL
STOP DROP ROLL
STOP DROP ROLL
STOP DROP ROLL
|
||||
19. |
[Rap - Mike] Prison Wine
02:11
|
|||
|
I got caught
I was robbin’ a bank
And now I‘m locked up and I’m stuck in the tank
I'll give you all the details line by line
As I figure out how to make prison wine
It all went down cause I needed some dough
Had a dead end job with no cash flow
Pantyhose on my face and it might look funny
But, mark my words, I'm gonna get that money
I learned all about breaking into a safe
Got a getaway car so that I could escape
My plan was set. I pull up in my ride
And that's when I stepped inside
I went to the teller and I slipped her a note
I said, ‘Give me your money and I’m headed to the coast’
She hit the alarm while I was robbin' the vault
And brought this whole heist to a halt
When the Po-Po came they yelled, 'Drop the gun, Jack!"
Slappin' on some handcuffs behind my back
And I was just like, ‘Yo, I won’t confess!”
And then they put me under arrest
Now, I’m sitting in jail with my jumpsuit on
I smiled in my mugshot, just for fun..
I’m the king of this prison. This place is dope..
But I hope I don’t drop the soap
So, maybe I shouldn’t have robbed the place
But there's only one way I can save some face
Every cell on this block will be waiting in line
To take a drink of my PRISON WINE
|
||||
20. |
||||
|
(Mmm, mmm mmm, this is gonna hurt)
I'm rollin' out of my B.E.D.
Put my feel on the floor and I feel something
I snap, a crack, a pop, my back
I think my body's under attack
Pain shoots up my entire leg
I fall right back into my bed
I gotta get out of this mattress
But I'm thinking that I got the
Chronic arthritis
Chronic arthritis
Chronic arthritis
My joints are hurting quite a lot
So I go to CVS for some Icy Hot
It's sticky, icky, it burns my eyes
Now I'm rubbing it on my inner thighs
I can't reach up and touch the skies
My knees only bend at a 45
My hand can't even make a fist
My doctor think it's just
Chronic arthritis
Chronic arthritis
Chronic arthritis
I took steroids for my inflammation
But that led to my balls deflation
So I take ibuprofen and Humira
For symptoms moderate to severe(a)
Osteo, Rheumatoid, Psoriatic
If you can name it I have had it
I can barely hold a pencil to write this
That's because I got the
Chronic arthritis
Chronic arthritis
Chronic arthritis
(ow...my back)
|
||||
21. |
||||
|
Ever since I saw that show
I can’t help but think I know
That Carole Baskin killed her husband Don
Now, there’s no evidence to prove
THAT BITCH certainly tried to remove
Her man - and she fed him to her cats
Hey all you cool cats and kittens
How do you think she did it?
How do you think she hid it?
I’m sure her new husband was smitten
But who do you think is next?
Place your bets!
No legs guy and Jeffrey Lowe
Maybe know shit we don’t know
Would you guys like a reminder?
If you haven’t seen it, I won’t spoil
But let’s just say there’s sardine oil
I won’t talk about the meat grinder
Hey all you cool cats and kittens
How do you think she did it?
How do you think she hid it?
I’m sure her new husband was smitten
But who do you think is next?
Place your bets!
|
||||
22. |
||||
|
I don't trust anything the News shows tell me
It's all fake anyway and they're out to get me
Won't fall for their political agendas
Just trust me even though Science disagrees
I believe in anything that the internet tells me
The government faked the moon landing
It's true that JFK was shot by the KGB
Because I believe in Conspiracy Theories
The United States fabricated and created 911
Don't get me started on the collapse of Tower 7
5G Network cause Coronavirus
And if you pray you'll get into Heaven
I saw Bigfoot on a camping trip once
I stormed into Area 51
I know that Paul McCartney is really Billy Shears
Because I believe in Conspiracy Theories
Elvis is still alive
Chem Trails in the skies
Aliens arrived
And I know the Earth is flat
There's a ghost in Three Men and a Baby
Because I believe in Conspiracy Theories
|
||||
23. |
||||
|
Alright, Kiddos..
Here’s a little ditty
And I want you to sing along
This is about some of your best friends
Your stuffed animals
One is a duck
One is a pig
Some are small
And some are big, ooh
These are all my stuffed animals
One is a mouse
One is a bear
Some have bows tied in their hair, ooh
These are all my stuffed animals
One’s named Sally
One’s named Seth
One is fluffy
The other harbours meth, ooh
These are all my stuffed animals
When I get scared at night
I can count on you. I hold you tight
You’re always there to give me a hug
And thanks for holding my drugs
And one is pink
One is blue
One hides my cocaine in his shoe, ooh
These are all my drug.. I mean.. stuffed animals
One is a turtle
Her name is Caroline
Inside of her, I had my heroin.. ohh
She’s literally a stuffed animal
When I get scared at night
I can count on you. I hold you tight
You’re always there to give me a hug
And thanks for holding my drugs
|
||||
24. |
||||
|
Hush, little one, lay down your head
Don't worry about the monsters under your bed
That shadow figure over there
Will eat your toes and rip out your hair
Go to sleep, my little one
Nightmares are sure to come
So, baby, close your eyes
'Cuz you're murdered in dreams, but not in real life
You can try to scream or try to run
But no one will hear you, help will not come
Your teeth will fall out of your mouth
You're falling but you won't hit the ground
Go to sleep, my little one
Nightmares are sure to come
So, baby, close your eyes
'Cuz you're murdered in dreams, but not in real life
The darkness comes, there's a demon outside
But you can't move 'cuz you're paralyzed
A psycho's chasing you with a gun
You arrive at school with just underwear on
Go to sleep, my little one
Nightmares are sure to come
So, baby, close your eyes
'Cuz you're murdered in dreams, but not in real life
|
||||
The Double Features
Twin brothers who write meaningful music, funny tunes and personalized songs for people.
thedoublefeatures@gmail.com
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